Treat Me...

"There’s Twix’s in the staff room Guttersnipe"…

…I was reliably informed today. So, with a desperate panting like Jonathan King at a Tweenies concert I hurried off down the corridor before all the circling vultures left nothing more than a chocolate shaped hole where biscuit goodness had once been.

As it turned out the initial statement was a bit of a white lie. Sure there were Twix products there…. Treat sized Twix products.

Can you feel the pain Guttersnipes? I was crestfallen.

How is the "Treat Sized" Twix a treat? You get one finger in it, ONE FINGER. As a measure of generosity Twix offer you half the usual amount. Surely they should be called "Fuck You" sized.

And "Fun Size" chocolate bars are about a quarter of the size of the normal boredom sized ones. Where’s the fun? Watching your mate attempt to down a Mars Bar that’s 7 feet long and weighing in a 15kg now that would be fun!

Don’t be conned Guttersnipes… if the young lady you’ve been romancing finally exposed a small chest using the words "they’re fun sized" you’d disagree wouldn’t you?