Poncy Ass Food Joints

Lady Guttersnipe sent me a link to a restaurant today and it has got the goat of young Guttersnipe here. Lunch at this haven is £21 per head and you know the place will be filled with couples who have children called Wilberforce and Jocasta.

Guttersnipe's advice for looking at restaurants is very simple. Look through the window, if you see lots of fat people you know the food's good and go in.

I list some extracts from the menu below:

FIRST COURSES
"Pan-fried soft herring roes on granary toast with lemon and parsley butter."

OK, this gets the ranting going… ‘Pan-fried’ – a term that is added to restaurant menus and all it does is make food more expensive. That’s all, I mean what the feck else are you going to fry something in? When you see this, send your food back and demand it be fried in something other than a pan.

“salmon fish cakes in crispy crumbs with a home made tomato ketchup.”

Translation – Fish cakes and sauce, and Guttersnipe thinks he would prefer the ones from the chippy, do you agree?

MAIN COURSES
Medium-rare fillet of Aberdeen Angus beef on a bed of baby spinach with braised shallots, Rosti potatoes and a red wine sauce (£3 Supplement).

£3 supplement to add sauce???? What is it made of? Red Wine or Pure Gold? Definitely a case of putting money where your mouth is.

DESSERTS
A caramelised "Millefeuille" of bitter chocolate and poached pears with orange cream and pistachios.

What the feck is a “Millefeuille” of biiter chocolate?

Then we have the reviews, that champion of non-pretentious working class ordinary folk the Independent says:

“…. Has no airs and graces… sure fire results are achieved by wonderful local ingredients.”

Take a look at the menu above and imagine the airs and graces that the place doesn't have.

Guttersnipe is lost for words....