Trick.... Now Get Lost Will You?
I work hard for my money and being a Yorkshireman you have to either have a bloody good reason, or a gun if you want to get it off me. This is why I am one of the few people in the world that is truly terrified of small children carrying pumpkins on Halloween.
I don’t give money to the charity envelopes, I don’t give money to beggars and I resent stopping the important work I am doing to answer the door to a 7 year old dressed in a bedsheet.
Last night the important work I was engaging in was equally shared between helping Max Payne overcome some of his more deep rooted anger and bereavement issues as well as helping Horatio Kane solve a murder in a park. Important high stakes stuff I am sure you will agree.
But no… all this had to be put on hold because if I didn’t hand over hard earned chocolate (although I had removed all chocolate buttons) then Lady Guttersnipe’s car would have been egged into a time where it came before the chicken.
Guttersnipe was always raised to not talk to strangers, now I believe this should include not talking to disguised children demanding goods. Next year I have plans…
1. Brussels Sprouts dipped in chocolate and wrapped in Ferrerro wrappers.
2. Barricading myself in my top room and not appearing until 10-o-clock
3. Sticking posters across my windows saying “Registered Sex Offender at this address, be warned”
What do you think?
I don’t give money to the charity envelopes, I don’t give money to beggars and I resent stopping the important work I am doing to answer the door to a 7 year old dressed in a bedsheet.
Last night the important work I was engaging in was equally shared between helping Max Payne overcome some of his more deep rooted anger and bereavement issues as well as helping Horatio Kane solve a murder in a park. Important high stakes stuff I am sure you will agree.
But no… all this had to be put on hold because if I didn’t hand over hard earned chocolate (although I had removed all chocolate buttons) then Lady Guttersnipe’s car would have been egged into a time where it came before the chicken.
Guttersnipe was always raised to not talk to strangers, now I believe this should include not talking to disguised children demanding goods. Next year I have plans…
1. Brussels Sprouts dipped in chocolate and wrapped in Ferrerro wrappers.
2. Barricading myself in my top room and not appearing until 10-o-clock
3. Sticking posters across my windows saying “Registered Sex Offender at this address, be warned”
What do you think?
posted by Ranting Guttersnipe at 11:52 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home