Oh My God... I Could Have Killed Kenny
Why do people take their children to restaurants? In fact why do people take their children to anywhere other than school?
Last week, the beautiful and fair Lady Guttersnipe, (who still remains without an engagement ring) took me out for Sunday Lunch. A good quality Sunday roast with plenty of meat and not a hint of poncy ass cuisine in sight. Unfortunately we were then joined by a family who pulled up in a somewhat out of date Mercedes and proceeded to pile their seven children and assorted friends into the same restaurant.
The main brat in question was called Kenny. A spoilt shite of a child who went on to do whatever the hell we pleased while his parents (I assume they were both his parents, it’s difficult to tell these days) occasionally lifted their baseball caps to say “Kenny don’t do that”. This process was repeated ad nauseam without a hint of increasing the volume or doing anything about it.
Knowing when we are about to be cursed, myself and Lady Guttersnipe eagerly allowed people to be seated ahead of us while we waited to be seated away from the aforementioned miscreants. All was going well.
We sat down, we got the drinks in, we went to the carvery and “oh for pity’s sake” they were all there ahead of us grabbing as much food as they could. Does it ever cross the mind of these people that “All you can eat” is an invitation rather than a command?
Anyway, they were all there getting food, all that is except Kenny. Kenny was jumping on the chairs and climbing on the tables while his father kept saying “Kenny, what do you want to eat?”.
Not a hint of “Kenny if you don’t stop that I’m going to kill you”. Not a hint of “Kenny if you don’t stop that I’m going to beat you to death with this joint of gammon”. Not even a hint of “Kenny don’t do that”. So does Kenny stop? No, he joins the rest of his family and then decides it is time for a lie down.
Bang in front of us, slap bang between us and the very meal we had paid good money to get.
And they just left him there!!! They went about getting his food and left him there. Do these people feel no embarrassment at all? I mean even people (like the alleged mother) who come to restaurants wearing the entire Elizabeth Duke back catalogue must feel some embarrassment at something.
Apparently not.
IT’S NOT A FUCKING CRECHE IT’S A FUCKING RESTAURANT.
Jesus, there once was a day when you needed a licence to have a dog, but any dickhead can have a child….
And they rarely stop at one.
Last week, the beautiful and fair Lady Guttersnipe, (who still remains without an engagement ring) took me out for Sunday Lunch. A good quality Sunday roast with plenty of meat and not a hint of poncy ass cuisine in sight. Unfortunately we were then joined by a family who pulled up in a somewhat out of date Mercedes and proceeded to pile their seven children and assorted friends into the same restaurant.
The main brat in question was called Kenny. A spoilt shite of a child who went on to do whatever the hell we pleased while his parents (I assume they were both his parents, it’s difficult to tell these days) occasionally lifted their baseball caps to say “Kenny don’t do that”. This process was repeated ad nauseam without a hint of increasing the volume or doing anything about it.
Knowing when we are about to be cursed, myself and Lady Guttersnipe eagerly allowed people to be seated ahead of us while we waited to be seated away from the aforementioned miscreants. All was going well.
We sat down, we got the drinks in, we went to the carvery and “oh for pity’s sake” they were all there ahead of us grabbing as much food as they could. Does it ever cross the mind of these people that “All you can eat” is an invitation rather than a command?
Anyway, they were all there getting food, all that is except Kenny. Kenny was jumping on the chairs and climbing on the tables while his father kept saying “Kenny, what do you want to eat?”.
Not a hint of “Kenny if you don’t stop that I’m going to kill you”. Not a hint of “Kenny if you don’t stop that I’m going to beat you to death with this joint of gammon”. Not even a hint of “Kenny don’t do that”. So does Kenny stop? No, he joins the rest of his family and then decides it is time for a lie down.
Bang in front of us, slap bang between us and the very meal we had paid good money to get.
And they just left him there!!! They went about getting his food and left him there. Do these people feel no embarrassment at all? I mean even people (like the alleged mother) who come to restaurants wearing the entire Elizabeth Duke back catalogue must feel some embarrassment at something.
Apparently not.
IT’S NOT A FUCKING CRECHE IT’S A FUCKING RESTAURANT.
Jesus, there once was a day when you needed a licence to have a dog, but any dickhead can have a child….
And they rarely stop at one.
posted by Ranting Guttersnipe at 12:29 pm
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