Pregnant Women - Aarrgh

I understand that for the general continuation of the human race pregnancy is a necessary evil. I can live with that and until all the money I put into cloning research bears fruit I will have to live with that. Ladies, get pregnant if you must but please stop thinking that I remotely want to be involved.

Back in the days when Guttersnipe had a real job he had a sales team. One morning one of the ladies came and announced she was pregnant. After a quick check that I hadn’t slept with her and couldn’t be responsible I went back to my work.

Practically overnight her workstation became a mass of scan photographs and talks about vaginal tearing. Aaarrrgh, it’s a place of work for feck’s sake.

Ladies, you might think pregnancy is a wonderful time – to an employer he sees that you’re going to take a year off work then return part time just because you have a baby.

Of course then there will be photographs of the unfortunate child in various stages of growing up all over the office.

I’m not interested in your children, I’ve never been interested in your children. I don’t want childen and especially not yours.

Pregnancy is not a huge achievment – cats can do it and they generally drop more than one without an epidural..

And finally

I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL YOUR BABY KICK ANY MORE THAN IT WOULD WANT TO FEEL ME KICK – OK?