Smug Fecking Parents I

Readers of The Spleen might find this surprising but your good Guttersnipe has something in common with the Labour Party. That being I would dearly like to see certain kinds of motorist bulldozed into a scrap yard and swiftly dealt with in the crusher.

Who could these unfortunates be? Joyriders? BMW drivers? Drivers of white vans? Nope… I speak of course of smug fecking parents!

If it’s one thing guaranteed to get my blood boiling on the roads it’s some smug arse fecktard advertising his fertility with a fucking “Baby on Board” notice!

Oh thanks for letting me know… I was just about to ram you off the fucking road as a quick method of overtaking but now I’ll ease down.

Just fuck off…. Just fuck off with your fucking little diamond to let us know that young fucking Tarquin is being transported to see another part of your tedious fucking life!! Do these people hang the warning on prams? Just imagine the carnage that must ensue when all the motorists pile over the zebra crossing because they were not suitably warned about the presence of a child.

Just fuck all of you… the purchase of one of these signs should come with a free surprise castration done in the back of Halfords.

But there are worse…. It’s bad enough that some simpering twat advertises the result of the one fucking time he’s got laid in this manner but then we get… “Princess on Board”

Oh for fuck’s sake!

If she is a fucking princess that would make the adults a King and a Queen wouldn’t it?

SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRIVING AROUND IN A FUCKING MICRA???

YOU ARE ROYALTY… FECKING LIVE A LITTLE!

See the sign and kill the car Guttersnipes, they should be trophies rather than warnings.